May I just start by saying how absolutely nervous I am? I feel like I want you to know that so that you truly know the heart behind this screen; a nervous heart right now because I have no idea where all of this is going and I only know about half-way what I am even doing. I thought the best way to start this whole thing would be to explain to you exactly why I decided to start this blog and this so happens to be the very first post of S. Sweetly. So, before I start with my “5 reasons, blah, blah, blah…” I want to set up the visual for you.
So, picture me, pajama pants and smeared makeup, sitting in my tiny half-office (I say “half” because I basically have a desk and a wall; the rest of this room is full of things we still have not unpacked. But I’m working on it!). At this point, my desk is one that has belonged to my husband for years. I have not quite put my design and refurbishing skills to use on it. I thought writing this might be more important. My seat is currently a stool because I have not sprung for a new desk chair yet. It’s late at night here in our home. Our floors need sweeping. The dishes are not currently done. And our bed has been unmade all day. I could be doing those things that I feel so pressured to do in my own mind (sweep the floors, wash the dishes, make the bed that I plan to crawl into after I write this) but somehow I just feel that speaking to YOU is more important right now.
So, this is me. Nervous. A bit of a mess. And feeling really called to speak to you about all the things I have been feeling since I entered my 20s. To jump start this journey I want to talk to you about the five reasons I decided to take the leap of faith and create this blog.
- I was CALLED
For roughly two years I have pondered and somewhat dreamed about a blog, not really being passionate enough before to go for it. Recently, I really felt God laying it on my heart in a different way. It became a constant thought. At first I just wouldn’t allow myself to entertain the thought in a serious way. Then, it was as if I woke up one day and couldn’t imagine it NOT happening. So I prayed. I asked God to send me a very clear signal that this was what HE wanted. So often I have sought my own plans over the ones that He has, so I wanted to make sure that this was more than a dream. I wanted to make sure it was a CALLING. So I asked for God to send at least 3 people to tell me, without prompting, that I should start a blog.
YOU GUYS. In ONE WEEK I received ALL THREE. The first 2 were from people who knew me well, very dear friends of mine. So I asked for the Lord to send a stranger to be the third person. And of course, by the end of that week, a woman who knew nothing more about me than my current job said to me over a business/networking dinner “you know, you should really start a blog.” I knew right then that God was working in a great way and I wanted nothing more than to see what He was going to do. I signed up for my first blogging course that night.
- I was BURDENED
If you asked my husband, he would probably say that this is my number one reason. Because he has been on the receiving end of every single emotional breakdown I have had in the last year because I am so burdened for other young women. I feel like so many young women I know are just silently crying out for help. For a friend. For someone to just love them and show them who the greatest Love of their life could be. It became a heavy weight in my life. I kept thinking….what could I possibly do to help? How could I speak into the lives of these girls when I struggle on a daily basis with my own issues? And God finally burdened me so much that I just knew He wanted me to just BE PRESENT. To make myself available, share my story, and love on any and all the young ladies He places in my life. When I signed up for my first course that night that heavy burden felt lifted in a way because I knew that I was taking the first steps into doing the only thing I knew to do to minister to these girls I felt so called to speak to.
- I was MISSING SOMETHING
As I write this, I am currently employed at another company. I’m doing exactly what I have a degree for. I truly love my job on my most days because I love that I get to be an interior designer. And I adore the people I work with. I probably could not ask for better coworkers. Plus, I am able to support my family by doing the very thing that I am paying those massive student loans for giving me a degree to do. But still….I felt that I was missing something. That I was maybe missing a ministry. Now, I serve in my church in a couple of ways. I try to use my day job as a platform to show Christ to others. Many times, I actually feel like I am accomplishing that. Other times I’m sure that I am the furthest thing from an example of Christ that I could possibly be. Still, I wanted something more. Something that ministered to the ones that I felt so burdened to help. I wanted something that I could stay up all night thinking about. Something I could wake up each morning excited about. When I decided to go for it after that final sign from the Lord…that was how I felt. Too excited to sleep. Too anxious to waste even one second. I could not wait to get started and I tried to complete my blogging course as quickly as possible. Suddenly I had what I had been missing….PASSION.
- I wanted to TELL MY STORY
As we get to know one another more you will get more and more pieces of my story (and hopefully I will learn yours as well!). My life, as I suspect most do in their 20s, has taken on a lot of changes in the past 4 years. Basically, since I turned 20 things have been a whirlwind. And among all of the crazy changes I have seen God work in amazing ways. First of all, He changed me forever. He took the mess I was (a different mess than I am now….I am still a mess most days guys!) and He turned it all around. I’ll share more about that in later posts so all you need to know right now is that He has done some wonderful and unbelievable things for me and I just want to tell the world all about it. My hope is that it will encourage you in your walk with Him and show you all the amazing things He can do. My story is by no means grand, but it is a story I think is worth telling just to show the goodness and mercy of God.
- I was LONELY
I have a husband now. I have tons of coworkers, a loving church, an amazing family, and a handful of really wonderful friends. But somehow, amid all the changes I was experiencing in my first years out of college, my first year of marriage…I was lonely. I felt like my life was a constant roller coaster. I was ALWAYS transitioning. And I felt like I just couldn’t get the hang of anything! Juggling work and family and home seemed impossible and I felt like a failure. And if failure doesn’t make you feel lonely then what does? Then one day I thought…maybe I’m not really alone in this. Maybe this is something everyone goes through. But everywhere I looked I saw perfect wives. Perfect Instagrams of perfect homes. So I thought….maybe the others are just as lonely as I am because they feel like no one else feels lost in the transitions of our 20s. So, I decided to create a place where we can have community and talk about how we cried over burning dinner and how we felt too exhausted at the end of the day to even think of washing our hair or cleaning the kitchen. I decided to create a place where loneliness does not have to be something we, as wives and women, feel anymore.
So there you have it. My heart, wide open, in all its nervousness. I just wanted you to know why I’m here. I truly want to serve you. I long to be your friend. I want to talk about all these things and then some. Is failure still an option? Sure! Yet….in some way…if I am able to serve just one person (and maybe that is YOU) then I could never truly fail. I hope you will join me on this journey. I hope you will stay long enough that we can really feel like friends. And I hope that if I do nothing else for you, that I will encourage you in knowing that God loves you so deeply and has such a grand plan for your life that He is actively pursuing you every day. Please know that you are so very valued, dear friend, and know that I am here to create a safe place for you to feel 100% okay with being a mess and being lonely and being in need of something MORE. I am here for YOU.