How I Prayed for My Love Story

One of my favorite stories of God’s grace in my life is the story of how I met my husband. It was a total God thing and I have told it to many single friends to encourage them. But, I was not always a believer in praying specifically for the husband I wanted or even for the husband God wanted for me. I was actually pretty sure that I could determine who the right guy was on my own and that if it was “meant to be” we would somehow cross paths. Dear friends….I was very, VERY wrong. You absolutely can pray for the husband you want and God will 100% deliver in His time.

Remember when you were a kid and your mom would tell you things like “if you keep making that face it’s going to freeze that way” and even as a clueless five-year-old you knew that it wasn’t true. That was how I felt every single time I heard someone say that they prayed for their now-husband. I attended a Christian university so I heard things like this on a regular basis. I knew girls who were praying every day for the man that they wanted to meet and marry. And even until the day I graduated I was nothing short of skeptical and quite honestly annoyed with the whole idea. Much to my own surprise, however, was that it wasn’t at all like mom saying my face would freeze. It was actually more like her saying that if I went outside in the cold with wet hair I would catch a cold…yes it could happen…but I would likely have to be outside, in the perfectly cold temperature and stay out there quite some time. Basically, it was possible, but the timing and circumstance had to be just right.


Before I began praying for my husband I had pretty much hit rock bottom in the relationship realm. I was living alone in a new town, just moved into my first apartment on my own, and though I was excited about this new chapter of life and my first post-grad job…I felt so lonely. My family and friends were far away and my heart had been broken about 3 times that year so men were the very last thing on my list of priorities by that November. But one night, alone in my apartment and at the end of my loneliness rope I broke down and….I literally screamed at God!

Yes…I screamed out loud at the creator of the universe because I blamed Him for my loneliness. Though I was the one refusing to persevere and pray for a future husband, I blamed Him. So I yelled at God for a little while; some audibly, some quietly in my heart. I asked questions and begged and pretty much had a complete and total breakdown.
I remember sitting on my floor, my head in a chair, and realizing how crazy I must look in that moment. And then I felt God nudging my heart and suddenly it was His turn to speak. “Why have you doubted me?” “Why haven’t you asked me for the one you want?”

And then I cried. A lot. Because He was so right. Why was I blaming Him when He promised in His word to give me everything I will ever need (Phil. 4:19) as well as provide me with the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4) if I simply humble myself and ask Him (Matt. 7:7) while also being faithful and obedient (Matt. 6:33). That night began the remarkably short prayer journey to meeting my husband.


I dried my tears, after uttering my many regrets and apologies to the Lord, and reached for my prayer journal. And there, where I wrote all my longings and ponderings and prayers and frustrations, I made a list. A fun fact about me? I LOVE MAKING LISTS. I have been a crazy organized person from birth and lists are the only way I function. But this list was perhaps the most important I had ever made. I made a list of all the things I wanted in a husband. And I started praying over that list.

That was right after Thanksgiving and by December 13th that year, I met David.
So what was on my list?

Well, I prayed for things I knew I needed in a partner and then I prayed for things I simply wanted….even the petty things! I wrote it all down and promised myself that if the person I met did not have everything on the list that I would know he was not the one God wanted for me. I asked for someone who followed Christ so faithfully that I would be able to see Him shining through. I asked for brown eyes. I prayed for someone who enjoyed fitness because I need accountability in that area. I asked for someone who worked in a similar field as I did and could fully support my career. I listed glasses as an added bonus because I love a man in glasses. I prayed for someone who would love me for everything I am and everything I am not. I asked that He would be able to handle all of my crazy emotions and be able to understand my very difficult struggle with body image and food.


I think on some level I made the list in hopes that it would keep me from any more broken hearts because no man could possibly meet every requirement on my list. Yet again….I was wrong. (May I just say that as a stubborn and needs-to-be-right-all-the-time kind of person, I am not enjoying how much I need to admit I’m wrong in this post.)
I was sure I was crazy for making that list. So I was blown away when I met David that December night. The first thing I noticed about him? The light that shown out of him. The light of Christ that I prayed for. By the end of the night I had checked almost everything off of my list. He was a runner, worked in home restoration, and had 5 sisters so he was well equipped to handle my emotional break downs and body image issues. The only thing missing was the glasses. But I figured 99% of everything I wanted was pretty good and that there was no way I would ever meet anyone else like him.

Of course the night of our first date, exactly one week later, I walked in and there he was…WEARING GLASSES. GOD ANSWERS PRAYER. And sometimes He goes so far beyond anything we ever believed would happen just because HE CAN. Just to show us what He can do. Just to reveal to our doubting hearts what a personal God He is. Ya’ll, where in the Bible does it say that I deserve to have the brown-eyed boy in glasses that I dreamed of? Nowhere! But the same God I screamed at that night for not getting my way is the same one who placed His hand on my life and changed the course of my story with a tall, brown-eyed boy.


So, I tell you all of that to say that you can have it too! You can pray and get the husband that you want and need. Yes, I believe God intends for certain people to be together and that He can make it happen no matter what. But, I also believe that God greatly blesses those that are fervent in prayer and faithful and that He will write their stories with a little extra magic. Don’t miss out on your magic! Pray. Believe. Obey. Be Faithful. And He will give you everything good that your heart desires. Does He have a plan of His own? Absolutely! But if you truly desire what is good then you will also desire what He has for you. And when your wants align with what God wants for you…amazing things will happen!


And it may take time. Don’t be discouraged if it starts to feel like God is silent. Delay does not equal Refusal. David prayed for me for SIX YEARS. I prayed for THREE WEEKS. So God’s timing is different for everyone because He teaches us different lessons. He taught David patience and how to trust in Him. He taught me about the power of prayer and believing that God can do amazing things.


Maybe you have been doubting or maybe you have given up or maybe you have prayed for what seems like forever. Dear, sweet friend…there is a lesson in that! Our Creator uses every situation He can to teach us more about Himself and to better prepare us for His calling on our life. Stay faithful! He will come through for you in His time.


Maybe some of you feel like your mom is saying the whole frozen face thing all over again as you read this. If that is the case, may I just invite you and challenge you to seek God and His plan in a new way. Maybe that means you make a list of your own. Maybe you commit to praying for one full hour every day. Maybe it’s even as simple as starting to pray that your plan begins to align with His. Whatever it might be, just try it. You will be amazed by what He can do with even the smallest amount of faith (Matt. 17:20).


One very important part of this story that I beg you not to miss is the final part of my prayer that night and every night that followed. I prayed over that list and did my best to believe that God would make it happen. I prayed that He would make me the person and wife I needed to be for whoever my husband would be. But I also knew that in that moment of breaking down and being lonelier than I ever had before that He knew exactly how I felt. He knew my loneliness on a whole different level and every ache in my heart felt just as real to Him as it did to me. And because of that, the final part of my prayer was “Lord, even if this never happens. Even if it’s just you and me from now until forever, I am okay with that.” I had to get to the point, even in the midst of longing and hoping and list-making, that I would still be joyful if no husband ever came and the only love story I ever had was the one I have with Jesus. Because, after all, isn’t that the greatest love story any of us will ever know?


So, friend, whatever the longing of your heart is. Whatever your dream is. Whatever it is in your life that you would spend hours and days and weeks praying over…DO IT. Pray. Let God show you what He can do. And while He is working on that part, I ask you to sit contently in the love He has for you and try to come to a place of knowing that if every dream you ever have is shattered that He is still good and still loving and that the story He is writing for you is so carefully and uniquely penned that He wouldn’t let anyone else have it but you. Come to a place of knowing that being in love with Him, that having forever with Him, is all the love story you will ever need. Because it’s in that moment that He starts to write something truly breath taking.

– S.



21 Comments Add yours

  1. TJ says:

    It’s 12 at midnight and I’ve just stumbled across this page after an hour on Pinterest looking at quotes to uplift my spirit and to just ease the pain I’m feeling. There was a link to this website underneath a picture which lead me to this page.. it’s like God brought me here to say ” look! She overcame, look what I can do” not just your love story but how to pray when you feel small. I was with someone who turned out to be worse than a nightmare and lived out my biggest fears.. dating a narcissist sums it all up. God told me to let him go.. and that’s something I struggle with is letting people go because I always feel that people leave. I was then told by my aunt that God never goes back on his promise and that I need to start believing again. Anywho here I am on this page and in this moment I feel so inspired.. I have felt so alone, angry and upset because for years I’ve felt like i don’t deserve to happy or to be loved. Your blog has just confirmed to start where I am. I have subscribed and will be reading these daily to remind myself of why I left an emotionally abusive relationship and that if you can do it so can I. God bless you. Your testimony is encouraging in these hard times x

    1. ssweetlyblog says:

      TJ,
      I cannot even begin to tell you how much your comment has encouraged me. Sharing my testimony is the whole reason I started the blog in the first place and your readership gives me fuel to keep going. I also want to say how amazing and strong you are. Leaving those types of relationships is never easy and it always comes with doubts and fears. But, here you are, doing exactly what you feel God calling you to do. And nothing is more important or honorable than that. I am so happy that you landed here on the blog…because I am beyond happy to meet you! There are so many wonderful things in-store for you simply because you have followed God’s leading. I pray that you will find healing and courage and that you will know how very dearly you are loved. He can walk you through anything. And the best part is that while it feels like you are weathering these storms, He is writing a spectatcular and impactful story with your life. You have truly inspired me today. Thank you so much for reading and subscribing. Please know that I am praying for you.

      -S.

  2. Logan says:

    One of my biggest and most important goals in life is to get married. I’ve thought about it a lot, and I look forward to it so much. I’m a guy, so I feel like it’s not as socially acceptable to have marriage as the top thing on your bucket list, though, so I really don’t talk about it with anyone. Because I don’t talk about it with anyone, and because I haven’t prayed about it as much as I should, I have spent a lot of time over the past few years feeling lonely in that sense. Not lonely in the sense that I have no one to see, no one to hang out with, no friends, but lonely in the sense that I find it hard to believe that there is someone out there for me. Now, I’m still pretty young (just graduated from undergrad a couple months ago), so I have a lot of time left to find a woman who is perfect for me. But at the same time, I feel like I am seeing signs all over the place pointing me to a certain girl or giving me a certain idea, but then as soon as I say something or move one step closer, it’s always dumb luck, bad timing, excuses, something that ends in a result I’m not hoping for. I do my best not to let this kind of stuff get to me, but the more I see and hear that I fully believe are signs from God that don’t turn out well, it’s tough. It feels like every time I think I receive a new sign, miracle, whatever, it’s more convincing than the last and I can’t possibly imagine anything better. Ironically, I found your blog through an Instagram post of a girl I met recently who I feel like I’m seeing all of these signs about. After reading this blog post and several others from your site (I think I might have read at least ten at this point), perhaps I should pray more! I appreciate you sharing your stories and experiences, I’ve already learned a ton from reading here! I’ll certainly be praying harder and more often about this. Hopefully God has someone out there for me, and who knows, maybe it’s someone I’ve already met….

    1. Sarah says:

      Logan,

      I’m about in the exact same boat as you! I have always been a prayer, but more like short devotional in the morning and maybe a 3-5 minute prayer. My goal is to start being more intentional and pray harder, just as you said. Best of luck to you and I will be praying for you!!

  3. Virginia says:

    Hi, i found your post in Pinterest, and I don’t usually comment, but your post touched my heart. I prayed to God for 8 years for my actual boyfriend, and when the opportunity came everything was just perfect in a way I just knew it war work from God, and I pray every morning saying thank you for giving me what I asked him for so long!!

    I really loved your post! And I know it wasn’t casually I found it ❤️

  4. Julie says:

    Dear S.,
    I hope this comment finds you well.
    May I ask how old you are?
    I hear this rather öfter from people who are younger and meet someone anyways… Also, maybe your husband simply fell in love with you? I have been praying and believing for 12 years now, now turned 30 years… I have spent 6 years (still continuing) pouring all my energy into teaching kids as well as teenagers with a lot of skill and heart.
    I’m creative, structured, loving, long hair, great shape, low-maintenance, responsible and sweet. a heart full of God even though I had a difficult childhood. I have missed out on having a husband I can share these crucial years with… Something Noone can replace. Also, I regret having stayed a virgin so far. Noone knows about the pain. I don’t recommend it.
    My fiance died and of course, I don’t compromise my relationship with God for a worldly thing. it’s just hat “Christian” guys have only hurt me in the past, now being thankful for all my love but at the time being super selfish, treating me nothing like Jesus.
    Please let me know if this story with David happened to you when you were younger or older, thanks.

  5. Mariana says:

    This post has made every overcomplicated thought I’ve had the past few days simple.
    I’m sitting at my dining table in Sydney – when I found this post and saw the name of your blog I laughed a little. Isn’t it just like God to be so concerned about the details? Thank you for sharing what God has placed on your heart, because it’s exactly what my heart needed tonight. xx

    all my love,
    Mariana

  6. Whitney says:

    I just found this post on Pinterest and now I’m crying! I relate so much with what you’ve said you went through. I’ve done a list before but I haven’t touched it in a while and now I know I need to edit it, things that aren’t right for me need to be taken off the list. I feel hope once again and I’m so excited to start really praying to be aligned with God’s plan for me. So thank you so much for insight and renewed hope!

  7. Noelle says:

    About two years after my husband died (he was only 27. I was 26). My aunt told me this very thing. I should prayerfully make a list of everything I wanted in a man and pray that list. I have been doing that for 20 years now. My list hasn’t really changed in all these years. So I think it’s from God. There’s been a few times I thought I had met him but always get rejected. I’m beginning to think I should just quit. 20 years is a long time to wait and pray. I need encouragement and prayer. So I don’t become a bitter lonely old woman.

  8. Kizzy says:

    Hi
    I enjoyed reading this blog today. I stumbled upon it after browsing Pinterest. I was feeling absolutely depressed today because just like you I have been feeling desperately lonely over the years, I am a believer in God and have been hearing the saying “nothing beats prayer”, “ask God and put all your trust in him and it shall be given unto you” and I have prayed and prayed for a partner/husband who loves me and with whom I can share love. I have my qualities that I pray for but I have never written them down but reading your blog makes me feel that this is what I should do and that my prayers needs to be a bit more earnest and consistent. I have had my share of broken hearts and broken spirit and I always cry and feel like giving up but in the end hope always prevails, some may feel like there is no one out there for them but that is not the feeling I have within me. I feel like there is someone special out there for me and it’s a nagging constant feeling and I just know that feeling is not placed within me for naught. I feel that is God telling me he has someone for me but just like you he wants me to draw nearer to him to love and trust him more before he places that person in my life. I thank you for your testimony for faith, courage and prayer and for letting us know that God’s work is never done and patience is sometimes the victory. Please pray for me as I pray for you all

  9. Ru says:

    Amazing. Powerful. It’s confirmation

  10. J says:

    So happy for you😊
    I believe mine is also coming soon 😊😊😊 though it’s a quite a long wait

    1. ssweetlyblog says:

      The right one is always worth the wait! 😊

  11. Sherry says:

    I’ve been praying in the same way, screaming at God because of my loneness for a Godly Husband. I’m a Widow of 41/2 years. According to the Word of God, Widows are to marry ONLY in God and that’s what I’m waiting for as I’m a Christian also. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story it brings me hope!

    1. ssweetlyblog says:

      Sherry, thank you so much for taking the time to read this post! I am praying with you! God bless.

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