So, I polled you guys on Instagram last week and the votes were practically unanimous: you guys votes YES to weekly life updates here on the blog.
Honestly? I was a little shocked! My life is not all that interesting and I was sure that very few of you would want to hear about it on a weekly basis. But, I’m all about giving my audience exactly what they want so, here I am. About to rehash my week for you.
Growing up, my family didn’t make a huge deal of Easter. Though we always celebrated Resurrection Sunday and observed Passover. My mom was just super anti-Bunny. And though I understand her distaste for pagan-nizing such a holy day, I’m a sucker for cute bunnies and chicks and all things pastel.
So, since I’m equally obsessed with baking, I decided to bring Easter (or Spring) themed sugar cookies to David’s family celebration on Easter Sunday. During Christmas of last year I discovered this weird knack and obsession with cookie decorating. So I love any excuse to show it off. And David loves sugar cookies, so it’s a win-win in our house.
Along with cookies, we enjoyed yummy food and watching 3 of our 10 nieces & nephews hunt for eggs. One perk I’ve discovered as an adult: hiding Easter eggs is actually a lot more fun than finding them. Out of the group of adults designated to be egg-hiders I am usually the last to finish because I try so hard to hide all of mine in a creative way. It’s probably more annoying than endearing to anxious children waiting inside the house, but my perfectionist personality just won’t allow me to throw eggs haphazardly on the ground and move on.
When I polled my Instagram audience about weekly life updates here on the blog, I also polled you guys about potentially starting a YouTube channel. And, again to my surprise, almost all of you voted yes. So, David and I are currently working on creating a YouTube channel that will be another branch of content similar to what I already share. My hope is to give you more of a look into our daily life as a couple as well as a look into my life as a business owner. So, stay tuned in the next two weeks to find out all the details about our official YouTube channel launch.
A Difficult Day
If you have followed my story for any amount of time, you know that I have struggled with disordered eating in my past. And for the past few years I’ve been in what I call a “recovery period,” meaning that I have been attempting to consume normal, healthy amounts of food without worry over what it will do to my body. With that recovery period comes some changes that, no matter how prepared you are for them, still feel shocking and completely out of your control: like gaining weight. My size 2 cutoff shorts no longer fit me. This is partly because of my former body that was not maintainable if I actually ate three meals a day. And part of it is because of all the squats I’ve been doing and the new bulging thigh muscles I have. Those muscles would be a wonderful thing for most people, but I have programmed my mind to see any increase in size as a negative thing. But don’t worry, I’m still working out and gaining strength. Though my mind wants to tell me larger legs are not as desirable as the thin bony ones I once had, I know that they are much healthier.
Because of the thought process from my past, not fitting into clothes means that I have lost control and my formerly thin body has ceased to exist to my still recovering brain. For the past few years I have clung to all of the tiniest clothes I once easily slipped into — ones that used to hang from my protruding hipbones and drape over my non-existent curves. I have held on to all of these once perfectly-fitting clothes through my entire recovery. But on Wednesday, that changed. I purged my entire closet and every single drawer in my chest. Anything that no longer fit was stripped from it’s hanger and thrown over my bed. This was a good thing to do, long-term. But for the hours that followed I was a complete mess. Maybe I was mourning the idea of never sliding those shorts back over a size 2 body or slipping one of those dresses over a perfectly flat tummy. I can’t quite explain the feeling. But I cried…a lot. Mostly because I questioned why on earth I have to struggle with this particular disorder and why the recovery period is harder than overcoming an empty stomach begging for more than just another apple for lunch — I’ll be doing another post all about my answer to that question.
Thankfully, I have a husband who lets me feel all of those grief-like emotions without shame. David consoled and calmed me Wednesday night as I practically cried myself to sleep. Having someone to comfort me through those feelings is absolutely priceless. And, I believe it has helped me stay in a recovery-state-of-mind for so long. If you are dealing with anything like this, I would encourage you to tell your closest friend, family member, or partner…it might surprise you how much they can help just by being aware of what’s going on.
We had a special treat his weekend — David had a free Saturday from work and we took full advantage.
We spent Friday night with his family — grabbing dinner with his mom & dad at our fave Italian place and then watching David’s brother’s final musical performance at his current University. David and I are both big fans of music & theater performances so we always jump at the chance to see one.
Saturday was a day full of mini-dates. We went to our local orchard and grabbed some fresh produce and homemade fudge. Afterwards, we drove a few miles to a local winery and enjoyed a full tasting of their 23 most popular wines. I was incredibly surprised to discover, after the tasting, that the winery included a full farm of animals that are open to the public for feeding and all-around adoring. David knew it wasn’t even a question: we were definitely grabbing a bag of feed and heading off to see the goats, ducks, llamas, and chickens. Fun fact about me: I love little farm animals. I think I’m the only fully grown adult woman who still refers to them as “duckies” and “piggies.” After thoroughly feeding each and every adorable creature and taking more video footage than my phone could really handle, we headed home for lunch and a much needed nap.
Sundays are my favorite days. We like to get up early and catch the first service at our church. This means we are usually home by the time every one else is headed out. So, I like to whip up a fun breakfast/brunch and then we will catch another hour or two of sleep before enjoying the rest of our Sunday with a nice walk or movie marathon.
I enjoyed writing this little weekly update more than I expected. I think my love of journal-keeping has been reignited. So, you can expect more weekly updates in the future. Be sure to let me know what sort of things you want to read about in the comments.
UPDATE: We have officially launched our YouTube Channel and I’m so excited to finally share it with you! Check out our first weekly vlog update below: