Life Lately: Plans & The Golden Rule

Hi, sweet friend! I’m attempting to make these life updates more structured. So, this week’s post will be broken down by topic rather than just a random list of what has happened over the course of the last week. Let me know if this is a format you prefer or if you like the more organic structure of the updates up until this point. (I’d hate for my type-A need to organize everything totally ruin this good thing we have going)

Recap

Why do I never write down the important things about the week I wish to share with you? I always intend to and yet here we are again — another weekly recap and I can’t remember much about the past week.

Most of the memorable parts of this week have taken place over the past couple of days. In fact, this is one of the very first Memorial Day weekends I’ve been able to enjoy in quite some time. In the past, while still working full time as a designer, I usually worked the Saturday and Monday of the holiday weekend. So, getting to spend the long weekend with David and our family and friends has been an extra special treat for me this year.

We started off the celebrations with a “country boil” on Saturday, courtesy of David’s boss’ family. Even though I’ve lived in the south for my entire life I have never attended something like this before. I didn’t think I would enjoy picking shrimp and crab legs from one big pile on a folding table outside, but it honestly was quite fun. Besides, if the food was delicious you will never hear me complaining.

We wrapped up Saturday evening with a game night with friends and family and demolished three whole pizzas in the process. Of course, we visited the most asked question about pizza when deciding what exactly to order: is it or is it not acceptable to eat pineapple on pizza? I’m the affirmative side but I would love to hear what you have to say!

We closed out the Memorial celebrations with a family cookout this Monday (which is when I’m actually writing this post) and the grand finale will be an Italian dinner with some old friends. Basically, this entire weekend has been full of yummy food and this carb-loving gal could not be happier.

Reflection

This time of year always takes me back to the summer after I graduated college. How could that possibly be four years ago now? And now I laugh at how exactly ZERO of my plans for life actually worked out. I didn’t marry that guy I was so in love with the day I received my degree. I didn’t find infinite joy in interior design. I didn’t move to Charlotte or Wilmington or Raleigh.

Instead, I moved to a town even smaller than my hometown (which I swore I would never do, so word to the wise: never say never). I married a man I met at a church (which is about the last place I ever imagined finding my husband, you can read that story here). I walked away from the design world and decided to pursue full time ministry in the form of this blog (you can read that story here).

Nothing worked out the way I thought it would. And I am so GRATEFUL that it didn’t. I’m so thankful that God knew far better what my life should look like and that He directed my steps all along the way. I remember feeling like I was wandering around in circles or trying to feel my way through the dark that summer. I had plans for what I wanted my life to look like and one by one they all started to fall apart. Isn’t it funny how you can see something as a blessing that once seemed like an obstacle?

Revelation

I heard something on a podcast this week (I mentioned this podcast in my latest Obsessions post) that totally rocked the way I have been thinking about my marriage lately. Now, when I tell you what this is you’re going to roll your eyes and think seriously, Syd? You didn’t already know that? And I don’t blame you for that reaction at all.

To paraphrase, the woman speaking explained that the best marriage advice she has is for every situation, trial, argument, or every day activity simply ask yourself “how would I want my spouse to love me in this moment?” Obviously this all goes back to that golden rule we all learned in kindergarten. But, twenty years later, I have clearly forgotten how useful that little rule is.

And that hit me straight in the heart. Can you say conviction? I realized I NEVER do this. I never consider this perspective when it comes to communicating with or loving David. So, my resolution going into the next week is to attempt to do this as often as I remember. When I get upset because he neglected a task or didn’t clean the sink after shaving, I want to speak to him with gentleness and patience. When we are rushing to get to church on time I want to treat him with respect and understanding. When I am having one of my famous PMS breakdowns over something super small, I want to remember how important it is to show him grace and help him understand why I feel the way I do.

I challenge you to do the same, friend. Whether with your spouse or your best friend or your employer, try treating them the way you’d like to be treated in that moment. It might surprise you to see just how powerful the classic golden rule can be.

Til next week,

-S

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