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The Sweetly Co.

The Sweetly Co.

encouraging passionate women to pursue a joyful life

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My perception of flaws has changed. I used to believe that my flaws made me unique, beautiful in my own way. But, where does the line of flaw and unholiness intersect? When does it become less about a unique quality and more about something I need to work on in the process of sanctification? . . I do believe there are things we THINK are flaws which are really just parts of being human: soft tummies, acne, the one eyebrow that refuses to look like the other, and being completely incapable of carrying a tune. But, there are also real flaws. Things in our personality that are far from holy and need to be worked out through prayer and the Holy Spirit. There are so many parts of my personality that I used to excuse with "I've always been like this" or "this is how God made me." At times I even attributed my flaws to a struggle that "cannot be helped." When, in reality, they are results of being selfish, sinful, and slowness to accept the sanctification process. . . My obsession with food restriction and fitness? Selfish. My short fuse and jumping to angry and accusatory actions? Sinful. My eagerness to write a million blog posts with a reluctance to actually open my bible and read? Slowness to embrace the sanctification process. . . Look, girl, I get it. We all have those little things we want to change: like cellulite, surgical scars, and a high-pitched laugh that you just know drives everyone crazy . And some of those things really cannot be helped. And, yes, some of those things can be little quirks that make us unique. But, do not confuse these things with the parts of your heart that need refining. Real flaws, like stubbornness and lack of compassion are serious spiritual issues that need to be brought to the Throne and given over to the only One who can turn them into something holy: stubbornness into gentleness, selfishness into compassion, laziness into Kingdom work, and judgement into love. . #thesweetlyco Self-love. We see this phrase EVERYWHERE. I can't scroll for five minutes without seeing some variation of "self-love" in a graphic or a caption. I'm not saying the idea behind it is completely wrong. But, I am saying that self-love is not the answer. . It isn't the answer to your body image issues. It won't make you a good business woman. It doesn't replace the love of a spouse, a parent, or a friend. It isn't required of you to love yourself before loving someone else. . In fact, self-love is the farthest thing from what Jesus demonstrated through His ministry. He regularly told His disciples, as well as all those that opposed Him or even sought to follow Him, that self-denial was required of anyone proclaiming the name of Jesus. Take a little stroll through the New Testament and you will find consistent mentions of dying to self. . . One of the lies I find most upsetting about this self-love gospel is that self-love is needed before loving others can happen. But, if marriage has taught me anything it is that the love I have for myself is exactly what keeps me from loving my husband as I should. In these 2.5 years of married life I have found that loving myself is quite easy, but loving my spouse selflessly takes serious effort. And it is selfless love -- putting the other before our self -- that has resulted in growth, deeper intimacy, and pure joy in our marriage. . . Friend, I hope you see my heart in this. I just want you to know what it really takes to find joy in this life. Self-love is not the answer. It won't make you happy or stop the world from hurting you. Selfless love, however, will bring you more joy than any amount of self-love ever could. And remember: Jesus didn't live a life of servanthood and die the death we all deserved because He loved Himself or longed for us to learn the art of self-love. He did all of that because He knew that selfless love was the only love that could save us. . . #thesweetlyco #selfloveisalie There is this unspoken equation that we tend to use as a means of gaining a full and joyful life: Graduate high school + college degree + post-grad job + marriage + kids = full and joyful life. Subtract 10% for every year you age without gaining those last two. Add an extra point if your house is beautiful and your skin is clear. . . Many of us would never admit that we still live by this equation, but we do. We may use it to measure the success of our own life, or maybe to judge the life of others. Either way, I have seen this unspoken math gospel completely halt the life of a woman whose ultimate purpose isn't to obtain any of that. It stops girls in their tracks and tells them that without the entirety of this equation, they are just slightly less than. Or, perhaps even worse, it keeps them from stepping into the life God has planned for them. This toxic thought starts to sink in: I can't have C without first gaining A & B. I can't pursue my passion until I get married. I can't obtain a degree after having kids. I can't start to be a voice for Christ before I have even finished high school. . . I want you to understand something: this equation isn't biblical nor is it healthy. A full and happy life does not require a certain education, a ring, or a successful career. There is only one equation for joy that actually adds up: YOU + JESUS = FULL & JOYFUL LIFE. . . Don't let the equation of standards keep you from what God has in store. He doesn't need you obtain or provide anything in order to do a great work in you: all He needs is for you to be willing to let go of all of your own ambitions and replace them with more of Him. . #thesweetlyco Sometimes this whole thing scares me. . . I worry about saying the wrong thing and angering people. . . I worry that I will misguide those who message me for advice. . . I fear misinterpretation, misrepresentation, and just plain being wrong. . . And if all of this were up to me and it all depended on my knowledge, talent, and ability....well, I would have quit a long time ago. . . Good to know that all I'm called to do is show up and do my very best and let He who called me do the rest. . . Tell me about the call on your life, the thing you're passionate about. And remember, sometimes showing up and doing it as well as you can is the very best answer to the call. Success is not accomplishment. Success is doing that which you set out to do. The outcome does not always determine the validity of the work. . . #thesweetlyco 4 years ago today I got a phone call from my boyfriend. Well, soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. Just days after my college graduation and right before my summer internship, he dumped me over the phone because "long distance over the summer would be too hard." My heart? Shattered. This was THAT boyfriend. The head-over-heels, immediate infatuation, dreamy guy that I never thought I'd get over. . . 3 years ago today I took a walk with my boyfriend. And at the end of that walk we were engaged. David dropped to one knee, right there on that trail, and showed me exactly why God let my heart break the year before. . . Even more now that we are married, I understand the purpose behind the pain of that season. I understand why, even though I could not see why this guy wasn't perfect for me and why he didn't seem to love me anymore, God allowed my heart to shatter: so He could pick up the pieces and show me my need for HIM instead of my need for a boyfriend or husband. The year between that breakup and my engagement to David was full of the most beautiful moments I've ever experienced with the Lord. He drew me close to Him and then, exactly one year later, He allowed me the unbelievable joy of saying yes to the kind of man I never imagined would ever love me. . . So, to all my girls that are hurting. To all my girls that have broken hearts while all of their friends are planning weddings…I know it doesn't make any sense. I know it feels like no one else will ever compare. I know that it seems like God's plan couldn't possibly be better than the one you had with that guy. But it is. I promise, it so is. Don't spend your days wishing for someone who was careless enough to let you go. Spend your days worshipping the One that sacrificed everything so He could spend forever with you. Your proposal will come someday. But Jesus has already set His sights on your heart TODAY. . . #thesweetlyco Last week we discovered something was just not right with our pup, Hezekiah. . After an emergency trip to the animal hospital and a few nights of worry, we are happy to report that our little furball is back to his usual self -- begging for food and attention and leaving fur tumbleweeds all over the house. . It's funny -- while he was sick and in pain I missed the things about him that normally drive me nuts. Like how he sneaks onto the sofa when I'm not looking. Or how he stays right under my feet the entire time I'm making dinner. I missed the way he "talks" when he feels he has not had enough attention. I even missed cleaning up all the fur. Isn't is strange how those little peeves can become something precious when your perspective changes? . And how often do we take things like that for granted? Like how my husband never closes the dang cabinet doors. Like, never. Or the way my mom still says "text me when you get home" even though I've been living away from my parents for many years. Or the way my dad always notices that I haven't washed my car in quite a long time. So, I just wanted to remind you to savor even the annoying parts of the people (or pets) you love. Because they might be the very things you someday long to experience just one more time. . I am interested though…are there any qualities in your spouse/family members/pets that once annoyed you but have become a quirky part of their personality that you love? . #thesweetlyco #kinghezekiah
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